If you don’t like what people think of you, it’s never too late to start a new chapter or new and improved you.
How long do you think it takes to make a first impression? Two minutes? Thirty seconds perhaps? What about seven seconds?
It takes less time than it takes to have a sip of your coffee and dunk your donut and you’ve got the complete picture of the stranger in front of you.
Worse still this will stick. Not just for seconds but months, years or perhaps even longer.
You’ve got your first impression and there’s no going back. I once met a “public relations expert” whose business was based on how to make an impact but sat in a meeting playing with her phone asking how to use some app while the presenter was speaking. Yes, true to her brand, she made an impact and a lasting impression.
Neuroscientists say our brains give us up to 11 possible perceptions within the first three to seven seconds of meeting someone yet it can take eight or more subsequent further encounters – and all positive – in order for this perception to change.
We have all had occasions when our first take on a person has been less than favorable but time and exposure to that person’s strengths and goodness has made us feel guilty and caused us to reconsider our impression while simultaneously questioning our own judgement skills.
We are not that superficial but a lot of what we do and our safety depends on us assessing a situation rather quickly. We would like to believe our assessments are pretty accurate, but that is not always the case.
You do need to remember that just as quickly as you assess a person or situation, so do the people assessing you.
Here are some thoughts to meditate on:
- What do I believe is the first impression I make on people?
- Is there someone I trust to tell me the truth about what first impression your making?
- What changes do you want to make?
- What changes are you willing to make?
- Do you want to take baby steps of big bold steps?
You can’t turn yourself in side out just because someone else wants you to. You are a special and unique human being with much to contribute to the world.
The main motivator is whether you are bothered by what people think in the first place.
If you are still struggling, why not book my 30 minute no obligation “Try Me” coaching session, I am a life coach in Penyslvania.
I watch a lot of programs like grand designs and I find that the houses they build are often very beautiful, very ambitious and usually turn out to be fantastic creations. But for me the most beautiful part of the house, is what you can see from the inside looking out. So the windows are really, really important in my opinion. I used to think that the size of the accommodation was important but as I get older I don’t think that is the case any more.
Some of the best houses on programs like grand designs are really all about the view, They spend a lot of money buying the plots of land to get fantastic views either of the countryside or the sea in the main. And the amount of effort and money they spend on producing fantastic vistas, amazing views of the outside are an incredible feat to watch.
Many of the houses I have seen being built, spend a lot of time and effort designing how to get light into a dark space, some of the properties are built underground and are very ingenious in the way they get light through to the lower levels of the property. Some of the glazing ideas look crazy to begin with, they do not seem to be well thought through, but in the end they normally come out looking beautiful. And provide amazing views of the outside which really is the whole point of the project in my opinion.
Which brings me round to the fact of how glass and glazing and windows have progressed through the years from the olden days, when they were very simple panes of glass to the new amazing structures that are often electronically controlled to not only provide light and views but access to the open sky as well. The technology of glass in houses has moved on an incredible amount and today it is an amazing tool that can be used to ensure the outside world is as much inside as it is outside.
One of the designers I noticed used a local glazing company called Tower Hamlets Glass, they seemed to have some great glazing products.
A list of very important yet simple tips I wish I had read about when I was a freshman in college. No, seriously, instead of advising me to visit a college counselor with my doubts and questions, brochures and information documents everywhere should’ve emphasized on some of these:
ALWAYS go to orientation day of anything. You want to become part of that cool association? You want to figure out how to use the library services? GO. TO. ORIENTATION. DAY.
Never miss first day of any class. It creates an impression on your professor. Many won’t care, many won’t even start discussing anything but many will give you: syllabus, test dates, overview of classwork, warnings, scary warnings, really scary warnings, etc.
Stop wishing for the cancellation of classes and get work done ahead of time instead.
Don’t sabotage yourself and create a habit of GOING TO CLASS REGULARLY. Don’t be absent unless you really, really, REALLY need it.
Have Mental Health days AKA days you’ll use to not go to class without any particular reason except for “I can’t” Mines are 3 per semester and I make it a point to only use them once a month during the beginning because absent during November or December? Honey, that’s suicide.
Create relationships with professors that interest you. There will always be a professor you will find interesting, get out of your comfort zone, ignore what all other students think and try to get close to that professor. Think: extracurricular experience, recommendation letters & CV boosters. Maybe that professor has a research lab you can volunteer in or a program you can participate in, etc.
Only join clubs and associations that interest you. You’re prone to leave a better mark and do some of your best work if you join associations you have true interest in. Otherwise you’ll just waste your time.
Bring your own food. No seriously, never starve and try to avoid buying as much as possible. Whenever you find yourself low in cash, you will hate yourself for spending all of it on food, coffee and treats. Bring a lunch bag and stuff yourself with fruits, veggies, proteins and juices whenever possible.
Rats can be a horrible nuance and pest to deal with especially if they’ve managed to invade inside your home. The biggest issue with these guys is touching/stepping on their excrement or pee by mistake which can then lead to doctor visits and maybe even hospitalizations. Today I’ll share my top best tips to avoid rats anywhere.
- Close your doors before evening. In reality, your doors should be closed at all times but once it’s dark out, these guys get the courage to come and get dangerously close to your home and doors, therefore, make sure all points of entry to your home are closed.
- Get a cat or a dog. Rats won’t stand a chance against any cat they’re natural enemies and the moment a cat is present in your home, rats will steer clear almost immediately. Not all dogs are persistent on hunting down rats, some are even scared of them but most dogs will keep them away.
- Poison. The traditional go to method, the problem is that if you have small children in your house, it’ll be difficult to keep the kids away from the poison whether you set it balls, dust trails or food you’ve mixed the poison with. It’s still one of the best as rats tend to bring food back to their nests. With one poisoned rat, you kill them all.
- Glue traps. For when you have a rat that’s already sneaked inside your home. Set these traps with a piece of food (not necessarily cheese, just something that won’t rot easily), and leave them near the area where you last saw the rat.
- Avoid accumulating trash. Trash that’s been accumulated for a long time will attract rats, it’s inevitable because they’ll relate the smell of food left overs with the zone where you put your trash can outside. Which brings me to my next tip.
- Avoid throwing out food with the trash. Set aside a spot in your refrigerator for food left overs no one will eat, are about to go bad or already did. Freeze them in your refrigerator to avoid having to deal with the smell or maggots and get rid of them the day your local trash pick-up truck drives by.
Life skills are clearly important. so I collected some YouTube videos to help you see that, have a look I think they will help you. Take your time, learning is about reading and listening, using all your senses. Actually lets not forget smelling as well and while we are going through the senses, we have extra sensory perception, which is definitely a great sense. We have so many cool senses and we need to learn to use them every day.
OK on to the videos.
I do like the first one here, it was also used on an advert on tv and is quite powerful and smart the way it portrays the point across.
It’s one thing to dispose things that have a great deal of nostalgic quality. It’s less demanding to discard stuff that you couldn’t care less about, have copies of it, or quite recently don’t generally require. On the event that you are beginning a long-past due cleansing procedure, begin with this rundown. Trust me: you won’t feel their absence once they are no more.
- Coffee Mugs: Many individuals inconsiderately gather mugs, much as complimentary cards or matchbooks. There are moments, moderate tokens to inconsiderately go after and/or to acknowledge as endowments. Sufficiently innocent motions at the time, there’s no denying their inclination to wait without genuine reason. You’ll generally achieve first for your most loved morning mug, and disregard whatever is left of the porcelain in the back of your kitchen cupboard.
- Travel Size Toiletries: Are you one of those individuals who simply snatch the hotel cleanser and soap, and pack it in your baggage, regardless of the possibility that you may never need it? In case you have an immense hoard that you’ve stored away some place, consider stopping the gathering.
- Old Medication: It feels strange to dispose of something that obliges in a restorative permit secure. Yet, most pills in your medication bureau are woefully outdated, or you have no clue what they were initially endorsed for. I’m all for pushing the expired dates more than what’s prescribed. However, do hurl the ones that are dated from 2005 or that you have no clue what they are any more.
- Vases: These grow quicker than rabbits, particularly those non specific FTD-sort of vessels that need identity. On the event that you’ve ever been given flowers as gifts, you know these are unwelcome intruders amongst genuine helpful crystal.
- Food Storage Containers: These are the cooler endowments that are continually being given. They are shoddy to secure, yet sufficiently valuable to stick to — without understanding that you ridiculously don’t require the same number as you have. Pause a minute to dispose the additional covers, super recolored plastic ones, and the ones you never at any point used. (I simply understand that I have “top pick” Tupperware. Slaughter me now.)
- Party Supplies: Paper plates, napkins, and candles hold such guarantee and are difficult to oppose – of an immaculate night with companions and jovial discussion, designed just so. Host enough occasions and you discover yourself flooding with additional items and peculiar individuals.
- Craft Supplies: Every DIYer (Do It Yourself) and crafter’s Achilles heel is that fabric stack, that excellent yam sitting tight for the ideal task, and your fifty sorts of attach. You have enough stuff to make until the destruction in light of present conditions, so time to winnow the gathering, utilize what you have, or dispose of it.
- Books: Don’t stress over the classics, go for the shabby thrillers in soft cover you have lying around — the ones obstructing your end table and unnecessarily swarming your racks. In all likelihood you won’t get these same books twice, particularly in today’s computerized age. Relinquish that visual score in your scholarly bedpost, and free yourself from lodging a whole library.
Give these away to companions, give them away, do a swap, or reuse what you can. I promise you won’t have benefactor’s regret, or mourn the day you disposed them off at goodwill.
The best pest advice I have is to not get pests, but it isn’t that easy, it doesn’t matter how clean or dirty you are, they will arrive at some stage and it all depends if they come alone or with all their friends and millions of relatives. So you are either lucky or not.
And as the pic above shows, they come in various guises, none better or worse than the rest, just differing forms of pest with differing smells. sounds and the ability to eat or bite in differing ways. And I guess different ways they can scare the crap out of everyone.
So best be fore warned, so you no what you can do. I guess you have 2 choices, go to war on your own and fight these critters who have millions of hears of evolution behind them to get them to this moment, having survived bigger, uglier, more dangerous and smarter foes than you or call someone to help.
Now I can tell you from my experience, I tried to do both, I attacked these honed, trained, well drilled evolved creatures with a shovel and failed in my strenuous bashing of them. As there was always another 100 turning up to fight, not caring if there whole family got wiped out in my last big boy swipe. They had a purpose, a mission I wasn’t aware of or could understand.
So we contacted www.santabarbarapestcontrol.net and they came round and dealt with our mini infestation of ants, who were very unimpressed with my heroic efforts to beat them up.
I am nearly over my defeat, so its ok…
I had a previous pest issue while in Encinitas and I do think I dealt with it the same way, with a large wave of something or other and was defeated as well. That time I used a great local company Encinitaspestcontrol, who are worthy a link out as they were good too.
Flirting is so important to your relationship, whether its your old relationship you want to rekindle or a new one you want to ignite, flirting is where its at. And I show you how to rekindle a relationship using flirting as way to get back into your ex’s life.
The problem is, you may think you can do this and be over confident due to previous encounters with old partners. you really need to be fully informed on how to flirt correctly, otherwise you could easily blow it with odd messages that will destroy your chances.
Flirting is very important but why?
The basic facts are, it is how we find a mate for breeding purposes, which isn’t a great chat up line but it is the bare facts. It is how we communicate with a possible mate, this can and is done through verbal communication and often more importantly non verbal communication. It shows our mate, the amount of interest we have.
OK, so here is the list of important things you need to remember to help you rekindle your relationship
- Physical appearance – don’t get this wrong
This is number one for a good reason, if you look bad, unkempt, like you don’t care, you are out of the game. So take care, wear a clean shirt and wash!!! Its all about the effort you have made, there probably is a scale here, 0 effort = 0 chance of progressing past the first stage. Your potential mate really wants to know and see you have made a big effort to look good. They want to see your beauty not your beast. You simply cannot flirt while looking bad, it destroys any chemistry you may have created before you are seen.
Your clothing is crucial here, and will help set the scene, and is another important point. You have to be comfortable and look confident, so it can’t be too comfortable. You have to look and feel cool and your clothing must compliment your own style and it is key to be confident as you have a lot of flirting to do. So you don’t want your clothing to get in the way…
- The unwritten language of the body
OK so body language speaks volumes and is often more important than what you say and key to use the right body language when you do speak. Non verbal mistakes are often difficult to recover from. Be very aware of how you look to your ex. They will be taking in every movement, so arm folding is a no-no, it looks like you are putting a barrier up and are not interested. Never fold your arms, instead use your hands and arms to convey what you are saying without going over the top and looking like a mime artist.
Like in the wild, when 2 potential mates are communicating, they both end up mirroring each others movements, this can be very subtle but noticeable. If you pick up on this, it is a good sign as it shows interest.
- Maintain eye Contact
Another really important point, if done correctly it again shows interest and your ex will be impressed but if done wrong it can look a little weird. Try and hold eye contact for up to 5 seconds at a time, much longer and you are now staring.
To take this to another level, try looking at each eye in turn and then look at their mouth especially when they are talking. If you get this right or even nearly right, it gives great signals of interest and you are only there for them and nothing else.
Saving your relationship advice
You must smile, a smile can be a beautiful thing and a sure fire winner, you just have to do it. It makes the person receiving the smile feel wanted and it shows you are interested in what they are saying. So try and smile naturally and not in a weird way, keep it a simple little smile, try and hold a little back.
- Are they interested, look for signs
This is important, but you can’t just ask them, you are going to have to read the signs.. You will have to be cool and work out the signs, here are some things to look out for that will show you it is going well.
- They follow the way you move and smile or even laugh at your humor.
• When you speak, they seem interested
• Eye contact is held and they smile
• Physical contact is made !!!
• Open body language
And here are some signs it isn’t going well.
- If they look elsewhere and are not really engaged
• Looking at their watch
• They have a friend turn up to help them or even get them out of there!!
• Any back turning is bad while you are talking, worse, they actually walk away
• Their interest is not in you but with people around you
If any of these occur, don’t worry, flirting is probably over at this stage, don’t carry on flirting, just smile and carry on, you haven’t lost the war, maybe this battle. So try and talk to someone else and not look at your ex, be nice and calm. They may be playing a game, the important thing is to give yourself another chance on another day.
- Flattery and compliments
Do not give a compliment if you don’t mean it, it has to be how you feel, a fake compliment is not cool and you will look dumb. A good compliment is to compliment their appearance, their dress, hair, smile. And any changes you may notice, that is always a great compliment as it shows you have noted it.
And never, never compliment anything unless you truly believe it does look good, or you will be found out!!
- Keep it interesting, don’t be boring
OK, another big one, you know yourself if you were a little tedious or even dare I say boring before and your ex will know too. You have to be enticing, interesting, someone they want to be with, not that old bore you used to be. So you have to up-sell, no negativity, no unhappy stories, just positive vibes, you are moving forward, the new you!! With a little mystery, again less is more, don’t tell them everything.
And importantly, don’t just nod, listen and ask questions about what they are saying and try and have a view, this will show you not only listened but you were interested.
- Retain a little mystery, you can’t be over keen
If things go well, be cool and don’t dive straight back into the relationship, retain a little mystery. You will then be on their mind after you leave each other. If they come away thinking its the old you, then that is not what you want as there must have been something wrong with the old you?
Make them want to see you again and don’t agree to everything or don’t agree to the next date without checking, be cool, a little mystery around your life and interests. But not too cool, you need follow a fine line between being cool and still interested.
- Be the real you
Be yourself, as that’s what your ex in the first place, fell in love with. Be the real you, a little different is good but not completely different.
- Flirting takes practice
Don’t worry if you aren’t the world’s greatest flirt first time or second time, it does take practice. Just remember what you didn’t do as well as you could or if you forgot one of the tips. Hopefully you will get another chance and if your ex sees you improving, that will definitely help you.
So that is the 10 tips, all very important. I know it isn’t easy as flirting skills if not used get forgotten. But if you really want your ex back, you are going to have to get out there and be confident.